Toxic Cooking Show
Misogyny, $800 first dates, simps, and high-value women: Social media has been busy cooking up and feeding us an addictive but toxic slurry of trends over the past few years. Here at The Toxic Cooking Show we're two friends dedicated to breaking down these trends, terms, and taunts into their simplest ingredients to understand where they came from and how they affect our lives. Join us each week as we ponder and discuss charged topics like personal responsibility and "not all men" before placing them on our magical Scale O' ToxicityAny comments or topics you want to hear about write to us at toxic@awesomelifeskills.com
Toxic Cooking Show
One-Downers: Because Life Always Sucks
Hi and welcome to the Toxic Cooking Show, where we break down toxic people into their simplest ingredients. I'm your host for this week, lindsay McLean, and with me is my fantastic co-host.
Speaker 2:Christopher Patchett, LCSW.
Speaker 1:I'm going to start us off by describing a person that, unfortunately, we all have in our lives. In fact, you may have several of these people in your lives. You may have several of these people in your lives. This is the person who everything sucks. There is no silver lining in the cloud. It's lead and arsenic. You mentioned something good. They find the bad in it, or they're always ready to point out any failings that you might have in your plan. You know who I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm curious where this is going, because, yeah, well, I do know people like that and I've been there before.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but in your daily life you've met this person, yes, multiple times. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's also the second flavor of this, which is what I found on the internet was sometimes being called a one-downer, and I think that is the best name ever. Into work or you're just hanging out, you know? You mentioned like oh yeah, I was up really late last night working. I didn't get to sleep until 3 am and instantly they've got to hop on that train like oh, I know, yeah, I didn't get to sleep until like 4 30. This, this is not the shitlympics, calm down. This is the person who everything is. They've always got to be worse than you. That's a one down there and I thought that was a. We need to bring that out up and more. I want to see this word used more.
Speaker 2:I'm curious where this is going, because my mind is going straight to depression.
Speaker 1:So close. We are talking about negativity today and negative people, which, obviously, if you are depressed, you're probably going to be pretty negative, but I think that there are a lot of people who are simply just negative people, like really, really negative people, but are not depressed. Would you agree with that? You look suspicious.
Speaker 2:I am suspicious.
Speaker 1:So and I'm very specifically not using the names that are like really common for this You'll hear about people being called a negative Nancy, a Debbie Downer, and when you look those up because I wanted to see where these names came from, and there are definitely some articles like stop using women's names for this, and normally I'm all about that shit, but in this very specific case I do want to say the women's names being attached to it is not necessarily meant to be a negative thing against women. Debbie Downer actually comes from an SNL sketch from 2004.
Speaker 2:I could have sworn that that's been around a lot longer than that.
Speaker 1:A lot of people say that. So the idea of it somebody being a Downer has been around for a while, but Debbie Downer was a character who was created for the sketch in 2004 by a woman, so that's where that term comes from. The negative Nancy, negative Nellie, negative Ned.
Speaker 1:So see, we do have a man's name in there, if you want to focus in on that one, that one's been around for quite some time and the Nellie in this is not referencing necessarily the woman's name, nelly it comes from like horses. You know, he's like whoa nelly. If you have a nervous nelly, that is a horse. That's like I don't know. I don't trust this shit, like most horses do. Despite being very large animals, they're always like I don't know man, I don't like it, and so that one has been around since like the 1920s. So okay the.
Speaker 1:The use of women's names there is not necessarily intentional, so but I still think it's maybe a better idea to not not quite go down that the the negative nancy thing. I don't know. It's not meant to be negative against women, but you can either say like a one downer, or I've also heard people talk about Eeyore syndrome.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:See, exactly like that. But going back to my main point here is that there are a lot of negative people in the world, without it being necessarily a sign of depression You're like. Well then, how are there so many negative people? Humans are actually really hardwired to focus on the negative, and there's what's called the negativity bias, which I'm sure you know all about.
Speaker 2:Bias of five.
Speaker 1:For every positive thought we have, we have four negative thoughts yep, and it's theorized that this probably developed to keep us safe, which does make sense. If you're living in a really dangerous world, you're a little caveman.
Speaker 2:Remembering all the bad things that happened and focusing in on those is probably a good way to stay alive I I kind of as far as, like evolution wise goes, like we we had to think, like negative we had to if, like, if we saw a bear running towards us, we couldn't be like, oh, here's a bear who wants this maybe this one's going to be okay. No, we couldn't sit in our caves and hear the branch snapping outside and be like, oh, it's probably just a wind. It's fine yeah it's going to be fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it makes full sense why we developed this way, but the problem is that we have kept that up until the modern age, like where we are now. And that makes sense too, because you think, well, not that long ago, and there's still plenty of places in the world where you do have to be very vigilant. There's a lot out there that can kill you, and so having that instinct to kind of remember is very important. But for many of us sitting here at our little computer jobs in 2025, things can go bad. I mean, as I'm sure you know too, they know that if you get a compliment and insult in one day, you're more likely to focus on the insult, like that's the one that you're going to remember.
Speaker 1:If you are presented with a list of traits about someone, the negative ones will have a larger effect on how you perceive that person. So you can have like a whole 20 traits. This person is this and this, and this and this and this and you're going. Your mind focuses in on those negative ones and gives those more weight than the positive. Even if there are fewer of them, you give those a lot more weight. It has an effect on voting. I know you're shocked to hear this. You are more motivated by negative the info than positive, and you are more motivated to vote against a candidate because of negative information than for a candidate because of positive information.
Speaker 2:I'll buy that.
Speaker 1:I'd buy that too. Looking at our current political situation, I 100% buy it. I think it was something like oh my God, how have we gotten here this? As soon as I read that I was like, oh yeah, yeah, that checks out. We know that bad news sells more than good. Again, look at the internet. This keeps being brought up. People are like I don't understand. It's like it's right here. We have studies that prove it, scientific studies made by doctors who got their degrees not from TikTok. We use the good stuff here on the toxic cooking show.
Speaker 1:The other fun one I found on here was that we underestimate how frequently good things happen to us. You're more likely to remember a negative thing, and I debated if I wanted to ask you at the very beginning of this you know, tell me about your last, you know encounter with somebody, because typically, apparently, what people will do is that they will. There'll be like a negative thing. They're more likely to tell you a negative one, and I couldn't decide if that was going to happen with you or because you're an excessively positive person. Sometimes you were going to tell me something good and then you're going to ruin my example.
Speaker 2:The last encounter that I had with somebody was probably with you. That's when we recorded an episode earlier and you're fucking short. I mean that's a huge, fucking negative.
Speaker 1:Hey, I'm going to take all of your pots and pans and put them on the bottom shelf just for that. Have fun getting them.
Speaker 2:Fucking short people.
Speaker 1:You're just jealous of all of the space I have. When I sit on an airplane seat, my knees don't touch the seat in front of me.
Speaker 2:I hate you.
Speaker 1:They never have, even in the smallest, tightest airplane. I got space. See, it's all about finding the positives. So, trust me, there were a lot more scientific studies that have been done on this. There's actually been a lot of work on the negativity bias, which I find fascinating. We've done a lot of work on it, but people don't actually know about it, and so we're still circling around being like why is this happening? Why are people voting this way? Why are people writing these headlines?
Speaker 2:We know why even though, even though things have changed and and things like that, like I, I do think that having having to remember like negative things is still a necessary type thing, even in today's world. I I think that there's a balance between the two. But I mean, yeah, you know, I tell people about all the time that I did an experiment one time when I was living in New York City, I drove an hour into work and drove an hour home and what I would do is I, for a week, I would listen to like the radio, like news.
Speaker 1:Oh God.
Speaker 2:And it was basically breaking down to this 45 minutes of, you know, bad shit happening in the world, five minutes of sports, five minutes of weather, five minutes of a feel good story. At the end, the world's largest cookie was just bait and shit like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes up for everything else that happened. Half the world is on fire, but we just said a new Guinness Book of World Records for our cookie.
Speaker 2:So if you're listening to non-stop 75%, the world is going to shit, then yeah, it's going to look pretty fucking negative it is.
Speaker 1:It definitely is, and I feel for people who get kind of caught up in this which will I'm sure we'll discuss more of this in a bit because it is it's more than just annoying when you have somebody who's like, oh my god the world, it's terrible. It's that, like it has some really negative effects on your health as well. If you are somebody who negative and this is why I'm also making the distinction between like being negative and being depressed, because being depressed like that requires you know, pretty, you should see somebody, you should talk to somebody, not through better help, but go talk to somebody. Being a negative person is probably something that you're a little bit more in control of, and, yes, we are hardwired to think that way, but there actually are studies that have shown that you can rewire your brain to focus more on either the negative or the positive.
Speaker 2:Cognitive behavioral therapy.
Speaker 1:Yep, right there. See, there's ways out of it. Because if you were somebody who's just sitting there like, stewing in this negativity and always being that person again, not just no, I heard all this negative stuff on the news and now I'm really worried. But like you're the person who just sees bad in everything, you're the person who's always you know this sucks and that sucks. And you're French, for lack of a better word. It's true, it's so true, oh my God, the French.
Speaker 1:But being negative or angry can lead, of course, to fantastic things like high blood pressure. Angry can lead, of course, to fantastic things like high blood pressure, stress, anxiety. And we know that stress, it absolutely like, fucks up your hormones, your immune system, your brain. It can mess with your heart, your digestive system, like. Everything can get messed up because of stress. And being negative causes you stress. So it's not a direct, you know. Oh, because you're negative, you know you're going to die of a heart attack. No, but, but, but but.
Speaker 1:Study number one found that people who were highly cynical later in life had a greater risk of dementia. Study number two found that the most cynical patients were the most likely to have heart disease. And my favorite study, which I will explain, was done in Chinese Americans who believed in Chinese astrology, and they looked at those who had basically like bad combos. So in Chinese astrology, certain years are associated with certain diseases. So if the year ends in like this number, this number, you're more likely to get tumors. If it ends in this whatever number, you're more likely to have lung problems or kidney problems or whatever. And so they looked at people who, again, believed in Chinese astrology and things matched up. So, for instance, you were born in the year that was most likely to have kidney problems and you have kidney problems.
Speaker 1:And they found that, when compared with people who did not believe in Chinese astrology, who also met those criteria, the people who believed in it died earlier, like 1.3 to 4.9 years earlier, which I found fascinating. And you may be looking and you're like what does this have to do with negativity? And they think that the people who believed in it, because they were primed to believe, like oh, because I'm born in a year that ends in one, I'm more likely to have bronchitis. And then you get bronchitis. You're like, well, that's that, and you don't do anything to treat it, you don't do preventative measures, like you may just be like I'm going to die of lung cancer anyway. So let me just smoke a six pack a day, not six pack.
Speaker 1:I mean for the hardcore smokers, I guess let me smoke six packs of cigarettes a day. That that was. That was probably what was happening, so those people were being more negative about it and thus they were more likely when it happened they were like, yeah, bye world.
Speaker 2:So there's two things that kind of come to mind is one I I kind of think of like okay, so self-fulfilling prophecy where if I have a job interview tomorrow and I say there is no way in hell that I'm going to get this job, have a job interview tomorrow and I say there is no way in hell that I'm going to get this job, then I am going to not going to study the company's mission, I'm not going to, you know, review, like the, the different questions that they might ask. And then the next day I wake up and my interview is at 10. Well, I'm gonna sleep in until eight o'clock because fuck it, I'm not gonna have to get to shop.
Speaker 2:Anyhow, I'm not gonna do my hair up what hair? I'm not gonna do my makeup, so so I go in. I'm not gonna iron out my shirt and I'm gonna go in looking like shit, and when they're asking me questions, I'm just like well.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:So of course I'm not going to get the job, because I did everything possible not to get the job.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, this is exactly that. I think the two are like heavily related. And I think, even looking back at the other two studies where it's like people who were really cynical were more likely to have dementia or heart disease, yeah, if you're really cynical and you're hating on everybody all the time, you may fulfill that prophecy of like, oh, everything's terrible, everything's bad. I don't understand, I don't know, I don't trust you. Yeah, now you've conditioned your brain to be like I don't know what's going on. Whoopsies, you've like stressed your heart out and your heart's like bye, and then you're like see, it happened. No, you did this to yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so in your last little fun bit of why negative people are horrible people to be around, is that this has a really big effect on your job and your family life, which I know is shocking. Nobody expected that. But yeah, nobody likes working with or hanging out with somebody who's really negative all the time. It disrupts, like if you're working in an office, it disrupts the team dynamics and office culture. There are all these articles on LinkedIn about this which I'm not citing here because LinkedIn is a special, special place.
Speaker 2:There's one more thing, and please tell me that you've read this Man's Search for Meaning.
Speaker 1:No, I have not. Who's it by? Oh?
Speaker 2:my God, I'm going to have to talk to your parents.
Speaker 1:Man's Search for Meaning.
Speaker 2:A Man's Search for Meaning Victor Finkel. Yeah, you're looking up victor e frankel yeah, so basically what it is it's, it's a guy who went through, uh, the holocaust 53 euros on amazon.
Speaker 1:What?
Speaker 2:should only be like I, I, oh, my god. I've bought that book so many times. I fucking love it. I say that I love it as I'm gonna tell you, like the sad, like I'm sure that one is being like shipped from the us.
Speaker 2:That's the issue but it's, it's basically it's from a point of view this guy, viktor Frankl.
Speaker 2:He was a psychologist prior to World War II and once World War II happened, the concentration camps ended up happening. He was brought into one of the concentration camps. So he's looking at the concentration camps through the eyes of a psychologist and one of the things that he had mentioned was that he saw a lot of you know, like a huge difference between like positive thinking and negative thinking. So one of the one of the examples I said was that there was a guy in the concentration camp who had a, had a had a dream that they were going to be saved on this certain date and that the allies were going to come in, that they were going to come in and shut down the concentration camp and save all these men, women and children. So he survived and he was sick, and he survived up until that day and when nothing happened, the next day he ended up passing away. So it was basically this guy was living purely off of hope I would believe it.
Speaker 1:I mean, I, I found, I found I can get it for 11 euros, so I will get it and read it, I promise get it, read it and and, like I said, I'm gonna have a stern talk with your parents.
Speaker 2:Mom, I know you listen to this get ready.
Speaker 1:How could you not have given me this book to read? Horrible, but it is true. I mean, that makes perfect sense to me that you, you find this little bit of hope and you cling on to it and you're like, yes, and then you know, when positive thing doesn't happen, it's like, well, why? Why keep? And the same thing inversely, that if you're just focused on the negative, like you said, the confirmation bias that like, then it happens. Sorry, not confirmation bias, the self-fulfilling prophecy that like, then now this horrible thing happens to you. And I also think that when you're so focused on being negative, or when you allow yourself to just stick to the negative, you don't change anything, and that is bad.
Speaker 1:I'm going to use the French as an example. I said the French are terrible about this. And, oh my God, look, there are some stereotypes that are completely false. There are some stereotypes that have a little grain of truth to them. You're like, yeah, I see where this came from. And then there are some stereotypes that are completely false. There are some stereotypes that have, like, a little grain of truth to them. You're like, yeah, I see where this came from. And then there are some that you're like, oh no, this is not a stereotype, this is a fact.
Speaker 1:The French are negative, negative people. Oh my God, if you are ever talking to somebody who's French, very quickly the conversation will turn to complaining. And don't get me wrong, I love a good bitch session. I love leaving a 15-minute voice message rant to my best friend, but oftentimes with that, you know, there may be kind of an element of me like working through it and I'm going to do something, or maybe I'm specifically like complaining to them and I want their help with it. But I have noticed that with the French, with basically no exception, with very few exceptions the only exceptions I found are the ones who were like I don't want to be here. They will, they'll get into this pattern where they will just complain Everything is bad, my job is bad, my boss is bad, my apartment is bad, and eventually you're like well, do you want to do something about it? Like you've been complaining about this for a year. You know, have you? Have you talked to your boss? No, no, no, no, it won't do any good. Okay, have you thought about looking for another job? No, there are no other jobs. There's got to be something. I mean, the Olympics were a fantastic example of this. So I live not far outside of Paris. We of this. So I live not far outside of Paris. We had the Olympics here last summer, 2024.
Speaker 1:And every Parisian, oh my God, they were complaining from like dawn until dusk about how everything was going to go wrong. The Metro isn't going to work, the this isn't going to work, this is going to fail, that's not going to work, this is going to be awful. I mean, if you listen to them, you would have been. I would have understood if you were like, yeah, there's definitely going to be like 16 terrorist attacks on the Olympics, like during opening night or something, and then the entire city is just going to, you know, get hit by a nuclear bomb and we're all going to die. Like that's how dire it was. And then, when that didn't happen, when things actually went really really well, just nothing, nothing was said. Nobody ever came back and were like, oh yeah, I thought it was gonna be bad, but actually it wasn't. That turned out really well. No, they just they carried on with their lives as if nothing had happened.
Speaker 1:But we spent months bitching about this and it means that they don't do anything to change it. In this case, they complain, they complain, they complain, but they're not willing to make any change, even a small change that would make a difference. They instead choose to sit there in their negativity not depression, just negative. Everything sucks, you suck, the weather sucks, dog sucks, just all sucks. Are you going to change it? No, I'm just going to sit here and complain.
Speaker 1:I'm like right, that's why you're still at a job that you don't like, living in an apartment that you don't like, or, who knows, maybe if you actually turned around and looked at it in a different way, you would realize that it's not that bad. You actually have something that's nice. You'll find the good in it. Like, yeah, I have an apartment Not everyone has one of those. It has a balcony. I'm really close to a Metro line, and this is this is what they'll do if you point that out. They're like, but it's not the metro line what my work is located on. Like, can you be happy for yourself for once?
Speaker 2:No, there's an experiment that I love doing with people.
Speaker 1:Ooh.
Speaker 2:And I love doing this with people and I, I, I love doing this with people. It's, uh, how often are you wrong? And so, like, every time that I hear somebody having this whole thing of I know that this is going to happen, I know this is going to happen, I know this is going to happen, I know this is going to happen, I say, okay, between now and the next time that we uh get together, I want you to, every time you say the words I know that this is going to happen, keep a mental tab of it, uh, and then, when the situation actually happens, keep a tab of how often you're right compared to how often you're wrong. The most I've ever heard was a very weak as 20% right, and that was one of these things where he even said that, oh, I'm right 20% of the times. I was like, were you, let's look, let's look at the time.
Speaker 2:I want to see the numbers and and so he would tell me you know the the things that that he was right about, and I was like, was that right or was that kind of close? And I'm kind of close, I'm like, yeah, that that wasn't, that wasn't right, that you were, you were, uh, you know, 30% right on that one.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that doesn't count.
Speaker 2:So that doesn't count as as you being right. So I would say, for the most part, it's 10% to 15%, okay, but the thing is that and I tell people all the time that it's 10% to 15% of being right, and in that 10% to 15% of being right, that whole time that you are going into this, I know that's it's going to happen You're putting a hundred percent of your emotions into it. You know, if I were to say that I know this girl that I'm going to ask out, she's going to say no, I'm going to feel rejected, I'm going to feel sad, I'm going to feel alone and I haven't even asked her out.
Speaker 2:And I'm creating all these emotions and I say to people like other than the weather when would you put 100% of your trust and feelings into something that you're only 10%? Right, when you say it like that, your trust and feelings into something that you're only?
Speaker 1:10%.
Speaker 2:right, If your job, when you say it like that you know, if your job paid you for 10% of your work, would you stay at that job? If your significant other was loyal to you, 10% of the time would you stay with that person, but yet you're going to put a hundred percent of your emotions into a 10% chance of being right.
Speaker 1:I think that's a fantastic way to look at it, because when you break it down like that like yeah, would you stay with somebody who's only lawyer with you 10% of the time no one in their right mind is going to be like oh yeah, that's totally acceptable, that's a good thing. Would you hire a consultant who only gave good advice 10% of the time? I wouldn't. I don't think anybody would Like. You know that. But yeah, we get so called up in this idea of like, oh, but that one time I was right, and so, therefore, and then you're already focused in, you're already just in the depths of your misery, like the French, and everything sucks and everything is terrible and there's no possible way to change it, even though it's not this idea bad, but you have only focused on that little bitty negative part. You're like, yeah, whole city gone, we're all going to die. I'm like did you though? No, you didn't die.
Speaker 1:You actually went down south for vacation during the Olympics. You're fine, but you bitched about it the whole time and I had to listen to it. But you bitched about it the whole time and I had to listen to it. You will hear people, like foreigners who live here, mention this about the French. They're just really, really negative. See, we all see it, we all know this. So, when it comes to negativity, negative thoughts, focusing on negative stuff not to put you, christopher Patchett, lcsw, on the spot but what are some suggestions that you might have for people who are feeling very negative or maybe have realized that they're being super negative or worried that they're focusing too much on negative stuff? What would be your suggestions?
Speaker 2:I, I seek therapy. You know, if you are down to that point where everything that there is no positive outcome, uh, or there is no positive, uh, anything, then you're seeing a very distorted way of life and that's, you know, a therapist is that's kind of one of the things is being able to. You know, just as you were kind of saying earlier that there is a way to change that mindset, just as you were kind of saying earlier that there is a way to change that mindset, it's basically, and one of the things I do specialize in is cognitive behavioral therapy, which is the whole idea of rewiring your mind to be able to see. And I always say, like, as far as cognitive behavioral therapy, it's not positive thinking, you know, it's realistic thinking, and there is a difference between positive thinking, negative thinking and realistic thinking. Positive thinking is constantly going around saying that everything is going to work out, everything is going to be beautiful, blah, blah, blah. And just as well as always thinking negative, always thinking positive, is going to create a lot of problems in life.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, we know that we live in a world where, oh God, and we've talked about've talked about this we're like advertisements on Instagram and and Facebook, and you see, well, yeah, there's no way that somebody is going to try to reap money off of people who are looking for a job in their last desperate attempt. There's no way in how that, if you're constantly thinking positive, you're not looking for the warning signs, you're not looking for the things that it could be a scam, you're always thinking positive about other people, you're going to end up being with other people that are harmful and toxic, because if you're constantly looking at, oh well, this person, they're with me and they must love me. So this must have been like a slip up or something like that, and it's just like you don't want to be overly positive, but, again, you don't want to be overly negative.
Speaker 1:That is very true. Being too positive, that too confident, this is an upcoming episode. How much confidence, this is too much confidence, but it can absolutely like turn against you, just the same way. As you know, we said that being negative to a certain extent, you have to, you have to focus on the negative sometimes because otherwise you're not going to see the problem. Same thing for being too positive, and so.
Speaker 1:I have run into some stuff when I was looking for this. That was the like just think positive, fake it till you make it Everything's great. And you're like oh, okay, the pendulum has swung way too far back in the opposite direction and this poor person is going to run into these if the same problems, if they've been thinking super negatively and now they're like I must go positive, that's going to end really badly for them and then they're going to go right back to being negative Cause they're like see, I tried to be positive and I got scammed.
Speaker 2:And, and you know I it's funny, I actually just spoke to somebody about this and and they were saying about, like cause, kind of behavioral therapy, it, it looks at the thoughts, it looks at like how the thoughts affected our emotions, and so somebody had asked me there. He said I, I I was trying to, you know, do the things that that I need to do as far as like, looking at the thoughts and I couldn't find any distortions that go with it and it's just, it still makes me feel upset. I'm like you know that's the thing that you know it's not again, you know it's not positive thinking, because you're not trying to find, you know, something positive out of this. You're not trying to look at or make a situation into a positive that sometimes things just are shit.
Speaker 2:And that's okay, yeah, and it's okay, yeah, and it's okay, you know, like it's not always going to be good in life, but at the same time is, you know, not nearly as bad as what we make it out to be wise words, dad, wise words.
Speaker 1:So where do you see us going from here for the negative Neds, debbie Downers, one Downers, eeyore, syndromes of the world.
Speaker 2:I would say that getting therapy as a whole, even if it is just, you know, quote, unquote their personality. I love the saying if you tell a lie enough times, it becomes the truth. So if you are constantly saying that the world is shit, that the world is horrible, that nothing ever goes right in life, yeah, you might be saying that just kind of like as a general statement now, but if you're saying that day after day after day, it's going to affect you and it's going to cause depression, because who wants to live in a world that is absolute bullshit. So I would say, if you are having these constant thoughts, see a therapist.
Speaker 1:I would agree with that that therapy is usually the answer for many of the things we talk about here. I do also think that there's a certain level within this that doesn't necessarily require therapy. You would benefit from therapy, you would benefit from therapy, but I think there are a lot of people who could simply, with a couple of tools maybe the right book or something, kind of catch themselves before they get too far into the swirling pool of like everything sucks and I hate life, and kind of pull yourself back out and be like okay, I mean even stuff as little as I remember, one time when I was working at camp, I had a group of girls who I'm not sure what was going on with this group. They were not having a good time and it was not their fault, and we were headed down to the petting zoo to clean up because that was our chore for the day, and one of my kids, who was usually like a happy little kid, was just not having fun. These girls were like nine, 10, 11.
Speaker 1:And I told her what I had been told, which was basically you know, smile and you force yourself to smile and that will make you feel better. Cause, she asked, she was like why are? Why are you in a good mood? And I was like well, cause, I can't be mad, I'm in charge of you guys, and that's not fair. You haven't done anything that you know deserves my anger, so I choose to do this. And this is what I was told she was like oh, a little bit later I see this child like scooping goat poop, with this maniacal smile on her face.
Speaker 1:And she did come to me afterwards and she was like you're right, that does make me feel better. And I was like, yeah, you can trick your brain into stuff. Now that only works to a certain level, after which therapy. But sometimes just trying something like that can can get you out, can stop it before it gets really bad, and maybe in conjunction with something else. But yeah, she was a fantastic little kid. I hope she's doing well in life. Where then would you put the, the one downers of the world, on our scale of toxicity? Are they a green potato who make you sick if you eat it but just scrape off that bit and you're probably okay? Are they a deathcap mushroom, 50-50 chance of death or coma even when cooked? Or are they a delicious but deadly last snack, especially when mixed in with some lime jello antifreeze?
Speaker 2:I would say that this low-grade death cap, just because of the fact that most people are, are that's just part of their personality, that they are constantly having these negative like always having to look at things through a negative scope, and it's just like and there's going to be some people who are just really, really involved into it and really wrapped up into it, and that can lead to severe mental health issues. So I think that that is going to be kind of a. I would say that, yeah, it's not going to be that often that people kind of go into that mental health issue type thing, but there's it's very, very quickly can progress that way.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to lie. I was in writing this week's episode, I wanted to find something that was a green potato, because we've had a lot of antifreeze recently and I was like I need to, like, bring the temperature down and talk about some toxic, but not too toxic stuff. And I picked this and I started writing it. I was like, oh dang, there's some bad things in here Again. See the fact that it can create major health issues if you're just a really negative person, a really negative person and, as you said, there's the mental health aspect of that, which is, if you start down this path, it may at first just be like oh, you know, bob's a little negative, but okay. And then 10, 15 years later, you're full on depression, pessimist about everything, hating life, like unable to function, rare for sure, but it is possible. I think I'm still. I'm going to give it three green potatoes.
Speaker 1:In a desperate attempt to hold on to what I wanted in the face of the evidence that I just presented, Just because I think that for many people again this kind of like if you're, you know, the Debbie Downer or the one downer of the world there is probably a lot that you could do on your own to reverse that, to kind of stop being this type of person, without having to go to a lot of therapy or without having to spend a lot of time and effort completely changing how you think and how you do things. I think for many people just a couple of small fixes in their life, if made and kept in place, would do a lot. Because, again, we all like to complain, it's always good to get out that rant session, but knowing when to stop Fucking short people.
Speaker 1:Fucking bald people Damn, but it's knowing when to stop and be like okay, this is not productive anymore, I need to go get leg lengthening surgery and move on with my life. Nah, I'll just wear heels. Actually I won't, I'd break my ankle.
Speaker 2:I'd be really short in a wheelchair.
Speaker 1:so if you know any uh, super negative people or if you have any other fantastic names for negative people, feel free to let us know. You can write to us at toxic, at awesome life skillscom. You can also find us on Facebook, on Instagram and on blue sky you can write to us there, very active on.
Speaker 1:I'm active on all of those I don't know what you're talking about every day Posting memes. That's me. Yep, shut up. Social media is hard. Okay, I don't want to hear it. It's true. It's true, I took this on myself. Anyway, that's been the toxic cooking show this week. We'll see you guys next week. Bye.
Speaker 2:Bye, bye.
