Toxic Cooking Show
Misogyny, $800 first dates, simps, and high-value women: Social media has been busy cooking up and feeding us an addictive but toxic slurry of trends over the past few years. Here at The Toxic Cooking Show we're two friends dedicated to breaking down these trends, terms, and taunts into their simplest ingredients to understand where they came from and how they affect our lives. Join us each week as we ponder and discuss charged topics like personal responsibility and "not all men" before placing them on our magical Scale O' ToxicityAny comments or topics you want to hear about write to us at toxic@awesomelifeskills.com
Toxic Cooking Show
The Dangers of DIY Mental Health Diagnoses in the Digital Age
Discover the surprising truth behind commonly misused mental health terms and unlock a new level of understanding. On this episode of the Toxic Cookie Show, we unravel the confusion surrounding words like "trauma," "OCD," and "PTSD" that have slipped into everyday chatter. These terms carry weighty clinical definitions from the DSM-5, often overshadowed by casual usage. We shed light on why calling a breakup "trauma" could be more harmful than helpful, and how genuine experiences of trauma are far from the ordinary challenges we face.
Join us as we dig into the world of mental health diagnoses, where misdiagnosis can lead to a maze of identity and treatment issues. Through personal stories, we highlight the tricky overlap between conditions like borderline personality disorder and depression, where similar symptoms can mislead even the best intentions. The temptation of self-diagnosis lurks online, offering quick but misguided labels that could fuel unnecessary anxiety. We emphasize the importance of professional diagnosis, pointing out potential life-altering consequences such as career limitations.
Finally, we address a growing problem: the internet's distortion of mental health conditions. From oversimplifying ADHD to trivializing OCD, the online portrayal often misses the mark. We underscore the risks of self-diagnosis and the potential harm in belittling serious conditions. By sharing personal anecdotes, we stress the necessity of professional help and advocate for thoughtful conversations about mental health. Tune in to understand the profound impact of words and the importance of accurate mental health discourse.
Hi and welcome to the Toxic Cookie Show, where we break down toxic people to their simplest ingredients. I'm your host, christopher Patchett LCSW.
Speaker 2:And I'm Lindsay McLean.
Speaker 1:Last week we talked about therapy speak. We talked about people who use words, boundaries, trigger, warning and trauma and how they're using it, completely wrong, of course. So I wanted to kind of take this to the next level. We left off last week and this is kind of where we were kind of talking about like trauma and people who say the words like you know, like oh my God, like Johnny football player, like dumped me and you know I got so much trauma from that it was so traumatic I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to date again.
Speaker 2:It's just like no, that's, or even worse, the people who are just like, oh, my god, this is, it's like so traumatic. Doing xyz and xyz is the most normal thing ever, but it's just like, oh, this one time I went and the server like didn't, didn't give me something. They put cilantro in my food. I'm somebody who unfortunately has the soap tasting cilantro gene, which means that you know, it's that shit tastes disgusting to me. I always wondered why people liked it.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh, but yeah, I've seen people use it that way to me, like it was so traumatic we, we left off with people who use the, the word trigger, or the the words like trauma and everything like that and, as I was kind of saying before, where if somebody had gone through a relationship where they were being lied to and now they're having like episodes where they're in a new relationship and they're constantly fearing that the new person is going to lie and they're constantly looking for that lie. They're constantly trying to figure out, like you know, like listening to every single word and saying, oh, that word didn't match that one, so therefore you're lying. Yes, okay, you're experiencing hypervigilance. However, just having hypervigilance alone does not give you that traumatic experience.
Speaker 2:No, because I imagine that for most diagnoses kind of like when you get sick there are multiple things that you have to have for it to be XYZ disease. It's very rarely just one thing.
Speaker 1:Right based by diagnosis via the DSM, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Fifth edition, tr. When are they coming out with the sixth one? Well, they just came out with the TR revision, so the fifth one came out in 2012. This one came out, I want to say 2022. I'm not going to look for the copyright on this Not worth it oh God, fucking MMXX.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fuck off. But yeah, you know, like you kind of hear people saying the words, like you know, like, oh my god, you know, like I I've you know ptsd because I was lied to in my last relationship and it's just like no, no, you do not.
Speaker 1:So just going off of the definition of trauma itself According to the DSM post-traumatic stress disorder, trauma itself is defined as exposure to actual or threatening death, serious injuries or sexual violence in one or more of the following ways. So just off of that this is kind of why the DSM is the way it is is there is a very clear definition of what trauma is, and so then there's the it says you know it has to be experienced in a certain manner. One of the things is is if you experience it within yourself or if you're experiencing it first responders. So, like you know, like a lot of people who go into buildings where there's a lot of death or something like that, they're able to experience like trauma in that respect, somebody who heard about it through somebody that a loved one, so you mean seeing it on the internet, via carousel on instagram, of somebody talking about their trauma?
Speaker 1:that can't give me trauma no, because actually that that's uh. So the uh fourth way is uh witnessing in person the events as it occurs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that all makes sense to me. It's got to be very real and tangible to you.
Speaker 1:Right, right, playing Call of Duty is not going to be the thing that causes trauma. No, at least according to the DSM, which, again, this is what I am actually following the guidelines of. A lot of times you'll hear people saying I have PTSD from a bad breakup.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, first off, you're not even matching the first qualification of PTSD, like, let alone, all the other things, All the others yeah, so right there, that within itself, no, you might be experiencing like depression or sadness or things like that, but you are not experiencing trauma. And then, on top of that, is that? So you know, just as I said, find what trauma? Is it defined? Who is able to experience this?
Speaker 1:and then there's other things where it it includes that you have to experience one type of like, uh, intrusive thoughts okay and then it breaks down what exactly an intrusive thought is and then again, just like as the first part, then it kind of gives different ways that an intrusive thought can happen. The thing is is that it's not just when you say like post-traumatic stress disorder. You know, it's not just of one sentence definition. Yeah.
Speaker 1:No, there are. There are different, different are. There's the definition of what this is. There is definitions of you know what this is and how many of these things you have to experience in order to be able to say that, yes, this is, you know, ptsd and kind of thinking of it like the user agreements that we all read so thoroughly. Of course, you know, like you, you read, you know probably the, the first, like you know, everybody's at one point said you know what I, I really want to know what's in this and you know they, they try to read it and most of us will get to like the third paragraph.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then you look at the little like how much you have left, and you're like nah, but like we'll, we'll see at the very beginning.
Speaker 1:Like you know, this is how you, the user, and, and and it's defining exactly what those words mean. So this way, somebody who finding a loophole of certain words, so they definitely have to define it in a very strict manner. So this way to close up any loopholes. Yep.
Speaker 1:Same thing with the DSM is that we have like a very strict way of diagnosing somebody that isn't like oh yeah, you went through like a horrible time. Yeah, it was really scary. Yeah, and the thing is, is that okay, even in incidents where somebody did go through something extremely traumatizing? Okay, you experienced a traumatic event, you've covered one part of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you still have to have all the other follow-up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because the thing is again, we're all completely different. So somebody might have gone through an act of war and they say to themselves they come back home, they're completely fine, they were able to separate that wartime was wartime, Hometime is hometown. I mean, it's going to affect you somewhat, you know, no matter what, but you know it might not be post-traumatic stress disorder. Yeah. Because just experiencing trauma itself is only one of the many categories. The same thing with this is one that I hear so many fucking times you're going to talk about ocd.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, holy shit, yes I just like my socks to be organized. I have a little ocd yes, oh, my god.
Speaker 1:And the thing is is that, okay, you know people? Oh, you like your desk clean? You have such ocd.
Speaker 2:I like to organize my books this way. I know it's a little ocd. It's always like a cutesy thing. That's the thing that gets me too is it's like a little teehee. I just like it this way. I'm a little.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know and again you know. Okay, so being like extremely anal about something is only one of the things. Yeah. And the thing is is that people don't recognize all the other things that kind of go into OCD, that what we see on TV, you know, like the, the rituals, is only a part of it, and and a lot of times you can have OCD without having the virtual itself. But again, you know, like just having a neat desk is not OCD.
Speaker 2:Liking things. Organized is not OCD.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:There's a I won't share it here, but there was a story my mom shared with us way back in the day of a way, way, way, way way old patient of hers who had OCD and hearing this story, I mean it ruined this man's life. That was the thing. Is you looked at like it wasn't a cutesy? I like to touch the door five times. It was. He was spending hours a day on this because he could not stop, like he would start the thing and if anything got messed up along the way he would have to restart it and so he couldn't hold down a job.
Speaker 1:He couldn't do anything normal in life because he was spending hours on right, right and, and then I'm definitely gonna go into that a little bit more later on, but you know and and that's the thing is like, okay, having an organized desk is not ocd, but, like you know, and this is kind of the thing, is that somebody who does truly have ocd they're gonna a nice, neat desk and one piece of dirt that's on that desk, oh shit. Yeah, now I have to clean out the entire um, the desk and the floor that you know, maybe something like you know dropped on there and now the walls and now like the cupboards now, because it's not just a desk and now like the cupboards now, because it's not just a desk Now.
Speaker 1:I see the entire room from top to bottom has to have like an absolute, like cleanup. Yeah, you know that cutesy like um, oh, I have OCD, you know is it's? Yeah, you know you're not. You're not even beginning.
Speaker 2:You have not scratched the surface.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you have not. You're not even beginning, you have not scratched the surface. Yeah, you have not. You have not scratched the surface. And the thing is is that also with OCD? Is that, and a lot of people don't realize this, is that it's intrusive thoughts?
Speaker 2:I was just about to ask about that. Yeah, go on. I was just about to ask about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, go on. So the rituals themselves is kind of the outcome of the intrusive thoughts, and an intrusive thoughts could be anything along the lines of if there's a piece of dirt on the desk and I'm breathing in nothing but like dirt, so therefore I need to make sure that I rid the entire like room that I'm in of any possible dirt. Other intrusive thoughts could be along the lines of where if, if I am driving and I have my window down, I am going to get into an accident, okay, we all kind of have thoughts like that, but the difference is is that somebody who has OCD is going to have, like you know, like this is life threatening. Yeah, I remember, I remember one of the things I used to do, like back in my 20s, is I kind of had one of those things where, like you know, like if I was walking and the whole like step on the crack type thing. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:And the thing was is I would do it without even recognizing it. And it was funny because I actually had a friend who was like dude, are you trying to avoid the cracks? And I was like, and then finally it caught on. I was like, oh shit, like yeah, I am, and what I would end up having to do is I would actually step on the crack just to kind of be able to be like, okay, you know, like I did it, I don't have to.
Speaker 1:But the thing is, is that okay? Yeah, was what I was doing kind of awkward or weird or something like that? Was I kind of going out of my way to make sure I didn't step on a crack? Yeah, do I have a OCD? No, because if I would, you know, like I said, to kind of get myself out of my head, I step on a crack. There we go. It's already done. You know I can move on with my day. Yeah, somebody with OCD there, that is a life threatening thing. You know, step on a crack, break your mother's back. That is a true like. That is an absolute belief, just as a kid believes Santa Claus is real.
Speaker 2:Santa is real.
Speaker 1:You have, you have. You know things like that, People who use the word depressed.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm feeling so depressed?
Speaker 1:no, you're not. You had a couple bad days yeah I mean there are again there are certain definitions of how long you're or how long you've had these type of thoughts. What is actual depression? Yeah. What are the events that caused it? What are the onset of when it started?
Speaker 2:Out of curiosity, what does the DSM say for depression?
Speaker 1:So, according to the DSM, you have to be able to match with five or more symptoms in a two-week time period, so you have to be able to display thoughts and things like that. Yeah, you know, like if you just had a really bad day you might display like five of them. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But it doesn't mean that you're you're a major depressive disorder, you're having a really shitty day. And the thing is also with, like all these diagnosis, is that there are different levels of this. So, like, major depressive disorder is going to be different than depression itself, there's going to be different levels. Two weeks, I just kind of said about, that's for MDD, which is major depressed disorder, and again we have to make sure that the client or the person that we're working with fits within this category.
Speaker 1:So one of the reasons why is a lot of times some of those things are going to follow you around and just to kind of give you an example, is I can tell you from my own experience and I had to go through a lot of shit to get this taken off but I was at one point diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and the thing is is because there are a lot of similar traits. So one of the things that I showed was, you know, isolation, the fact of wanting to be around other people, but you know, kind of isolating myself. Okay, that's going to be true in, you know, borderline personality disorder, but also that's going to be true in depression. Yeah, borderline personality disorder, but also that's going to be true in depression. Yeah, you know, and and the thing is is that I'm not going to call the doctor out by name, but you know, there was maybe five of us that were discharged from the military for having borderline personality disorder. Borderline personality disorder, in all facts, is not going to be that common of a thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to say that feels like a lot to have it once within a small group relative to the whole population as a whole.
Speaker 1:That's a lot, and so you know again, that is why it's very important because, know, if my insurance were to pick up on that, or the fact that, uh, my discharge, and at the time I I didn't think anything about this because I was in my early 20s, I didn't know anything about like mental, mental disorders. So I was like, okay, doctor knows what he's doing. I'm just gonna like go with the doctor and you know, when I first went to the VA, being able to continue with psychiatric services, the doctor there was like, okay, I can tell you flat off, flat out, I would have known if you had a borderline personality disorder within the first 10 minutes. You do not have borderline personality disorder and I mean, again, you know like that's going to affect, like you know, like you know that's why it is very precise in the DSM is because that is going to be affecting the way that the other person feels. Yeah, and the thing is is that I never heard of a borderline personality disorder prior to this happening.
Speaker 1:And the thing is is that once I got the diagnosis, I looked online and we all know how good the internet is. Oh, yeah, always truthful, always truthful. Yeah, again, I, I didn't realize what I know about mental disorders at the time and I looked at probably wikipedia if that was around or something like that at the time and I was like, yeah, you know, I can kind of see how this, you know like, would fit me. Yeah, this I could kind of see, and, and the thing is, is that there is a difference between, yeah, it could kind of, but no, if you actually look at these definitions, it's going to. It's going to affect the way that I treat my treatment plans, it's going to affect the way that I work with the client and things like that. It's also going to affect the way that the client sees themselves, because, again, I'm not the first one, nor am I going to be the last one, who said, oh wow, here's a new diagnosis. Instead of really talking to my doctor about it, I'm going to ask Dr Wikipedia.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, the doctor said it, so it must be true. I mean, we would like to all believe that because you know paying them all of our money. But yeah, I mean I'm sure there are tons of people who do just kind of like sure, this is me now.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Why wouldn't it be?
Speaker 1:And that's the thing is that these diagnosis like if I were to accidentally diagnose somebody with a borderline personality disorder and let's say that they are, I don't know, 25, I might have ruined that person's chance of going into the military as opposed to they have slight depression, yeah, mild depression or something like that where, okay, you know what, you have mild depression. Get a waiver from a psychiatrist saying that that was one episode and that you know you're not prone for this happening again. But this was single episode. No, we'll let you into the military. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Borderline personality disorder. It's a personality, a personality disorder yeah, you ain't coming in so you know that that's kind of the thing is that again, you really have to be careful of the way you know, like the way that I diagnose somebody because it is going to affect their lives, and just like me being careful the the way, like you know, I diagnosed somebody the way they diagnose themselves.
Speaker 2:I thought Dr Instagram was always on my side with truthful information, helpful links that definitely aren't scams to take these supplements.
Speaker 1:And and and you kind of you of you covered this last week and I do want to bring this up again. You know, and we see all the time on Instagram and things like that you know, do you have TX arms? You know like, do you like to go to sleep like this?
Speaker 2:You must have. There's this like bucket list of all these possible like horrific things. Sometimes you know how you go on webmd when you're you've got like a couple symptoms and cancer is always on and I get it.
Speaker 2:I get why it's on there, because it's just picking up these, like you've said, these six symptoms, technically, this type of cancer. You know it's got a whole bunch of other symptoms too, but these six symptoms, like, are a part of that. I feel like sometimes these people have just done that, where it's like every possible thing that might be somewhat related but there's no additional information about like. Here's what's definitely related, here's what's a little bit related and here's what's like very, very tangentially related, very, very tangentially related.
Speaker 1:It's definitely going to affect the way that the person goes in for treatment and things like that it's hard as a therapist, how many times that I've had a new client coming into my first session and you know I'll say like you know, like, you know like, so you know what brings you in. Well, you know, um, I, I have adhd, okay, cool. Like, uh, you know were you, were you formally diagnosed? Like you know, like, uh, no, I saw on instagram. Like you know, like, if I'm like oh fuck oh, my god, this this is our favorite catchphrase.
Speaker 2:A future episode that I want to do, maybe sooner rather than later, but about that specifically ADHD and autism that there is so much random crap on the internet about them that you very quickly become inundated with it. Like, if you watch two videos, you're just like you're constantly receiving more and the stuff that people are listing is, you know, and maybe it's true, maybe, maybe it's absolutely true that, like, if you like sour candy, that you're more likely to like really sour things if you have adhd. As far as I know, that has not been proven. Correct me if I'm wrong on that?
Speaker 2:no, I don't know well the internet has told me that if you like sour candy, you have adhd. So you know, hard fact right there I actually.
Speaker 1:I just saw one, maybe a day or two ago, and it was um are you addicted to porn?
Speaker 2:you have adhd and it's just like, like, no, like, no I mean, and this is, oh, this is we'll get into it later, but I want to touch on it now because it's such a sore point for me. The way stuff is framed on the internet is what just pisses me off so much. Again, it's this framing of. It's an absolute that if you do or like X, you have Y. As opposed to saying. As opposed to saying hey, there may be some correlations between people who have ADHD are more likely to become addicted to things. They have that addictive personality, and so if you actually have ADHD, you may be more likely than the general population to experience this, but it's never framed that way. It's just hey, do you like listening to the same song over and over again? Adhd I think a lot of people like that, and that's the thing.
Speaker 1:Is that like if? If somebody's coming into my office for the first time and they're adamant about having ADHD because of what they saw online, I, as a therapist, you know I will try to talk to them.
Speaker 1:You know I will never. You know, I wouldn't give them the formal diagnosis. Well, first off, I really can't, because any neurological disorders has to be diagnosed by a doctor. Yeah, but even if somebody were to come in and say, like I have a major depressive disorder and their girlfriend broke up with them a week ago and they've been depressed for the past week, okay, you know, no, because the DSM says these symptoms have to be there for at least two weeks, I might say something like the good old handy adjustment disorder at first.
Speaker 1:And if the person, like you know, like the next week, they might come in and say, like you know, like, yeah, you know, like I really kind of sat there and I really thought about things and you know, I started hanging out with. I really kind of sat there and I really thought about things and, and you know, I started hanging out with friends, I'm starting to feel better. Okay, you know, like, let's go with that. But if I, if I'm sitting there and trying to work with somebody by using tools that I would for somebody with adh when they just have a porn addiction? Yeah, it's not something.
Speaker 1:I'm going to have two completely different treatment plans based off of that, but what if they have a porn addiction and they like sour candy?
Speaker 2:Then that's double ADHD.
Speaker 1:The last thing I really do want to kind of touch on this is the dangers of this and the reason why we talked about how people might hear this diagnosis and then they'll they'll kind of go into Wikipedia and shit like that and really kind of take on that, that diagnosis. The thing is is that it also really softens the blow of what these diagnoses are. Because, just as I was kind of saying before about ocd you know we were both saying about this is that you know you having a clean desk, you spending 10 or 10 minutes a day, you know making sure that your desk is organized, you don't have ocd and you don't realize the shit that you know, as you were kind of saying, the person whose life is completely ruined because the stream of their OCD. You're not talking about a 10 minute cleanup. Again, you are talking from top to bottom. You're bleaching things, people who I've heard stories of people with such raw skin because they have to sit there yeah.
Speaker 1:And the effect that it has on somebody who does have this actual diagnosis, somebody with PTSD who can't even go to a restaurant unless they are sitting against a wall because they are so hypervigilant that they do not feel safe in any public setting and it's hard for them between the car to the restaurant itself because there's a wide open space that they're living in a very, extremely harsh life. Now there is treatment for for these things, you know, is not the ruin of their life or anything like that. But the thing is is that even for a time period of six months a year, some people I mean I can't tell you how many Vietnam veterans that I had seen that have gone through this for 30 years of their lives or more and, you know, really had a horrible time that they weren't able to enjoy time with their family because the intrusive thoughts are so bad that they're constantly having to work on Christmas, because if they have time to settle down, their mind starts racing onto traumatic events that happened in the past. Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's kind of the thing is that OCD, ptsd, these things are not like these cutesy like you know, like instagram cutesy type things.
Speaker 2:But I always picture it with the um, like little pastel background and the kind of like a little bit of a curly font. There may be some flowers on there. That's what I associate with. These was just like makes it even worse. It's like you're giving, it's like it's cutesy, it's calm, it's cute.
Speaker 1:Look, we're trying to talk about it, and then it's just filled with false information yeah no and, and that's the thing is that you know like it definitely needs to be out there. You know and, and you know this is one of the the you know reasons why, like you know like something like this, where being able to hear, like you know like what exactly you know. Like you know like something like this, where being able to hear, like you know like what exactly you know happens and you know like, yes, if you are feeling like that you've gone through a traumatic event, cool, see a therapist. Yeah.
Speaker 1:If you do feel that the breakup with Johnny football player was a traumatic event.
Speaker 2:And you just cannot get past it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see a therapist, but don't give yourself that label yet. Yeah. So, with that being said, where do you think we should go from here?
Speaker 2:I mean, our longtime favorite education got to edify the peoples. That's what this stuff means. And I think for this type of thing, for actual diagnoses as opposed to therapy speak, it is all the more important to actually call people out and be like that is incorrect, like right here, what you're saying, like even if it's just calling somebody out in the moment and they're like hi, I'm just a little OCD. It's like with racism We've talked about this before they can be really uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:So just call someone out and be like that is really inappropriate to say Don't do it, and it kills the mood, and then you know nobody wants to hang out with you, blah, blah, blah. But and it kills the mood, and then you know nobody wants to hang out with you, blah, blah, blah. But I think that it should be calling people out, like if you are hanging out with a group of people and somebody does kind of make a little comment about like oh yeah, you know, I'm just a little OCD, say something, just point at me, like that's not actually what that means, do you know? Like, do you know that is a very real diagnosis that has very, very real effects on somebody's life in a negative way this is not fun and games.
Speaker 2:this is not cutesy, like maybe don't refer to and we're all guilty of it. You know we've all done it like it used to be a thing. I get it. There's no need to punish yourself for that now, but do better and when you see other people who haven't learned that, call them out. I honestly I wish that there would be maybe some more.
Speaker 2:You know, social media is a double-edged sword, because on the one hand, I appreciate that we're putting information out about these things, cause I think that there are times that people will see this and we'll get into this at some point, that you may see something and you're like, oh shit, that's me. I didn't realize that this was a thing. You know, I've been experiencing this my whole life and I never had a word for it because I just thought it was normal, I thought it was a me problem. And now I realize that, like there's a name for it and I can get help for this thing that I have or that I'm experiencing, and so I don't want to say like, oh, we should never post about it on the internet, because that is absolutely not true. But I would love to see people post less, maybe unless you have really gone through it, like unless you are somebody who has actually been diagnosed with something, or unless you were a qualified and ethical therapist you know.
Speaker 2:I'd love to see that kind of go away to decrease the amount of fluffified information, if I may, where it's stuff that, like it may be true, there may be like a base of truth somewhere deep in there, but you've just like puffed it up beyond recognition to create something that's like exciting and cool and, like you know, a list of 10 things that people with OCD do, a list of 10 things like that ADHD. Again, it was just like kind of random stuff and maybe it's true, maybe it's not, but it's very easy for anyone to see themselves within that Be like it's me.
Speaker 1:I have OCD, I don't I, so I don't want to say educate ourselves, because that's kind of the thing that got us here.
Speaker 2:We were trying to educate ourselves and we miseducated.
Speaker 1:I think that. So there is a reason why I do not work on my car. Yeah, and there is a reason why I will not work on somebody else's car. If you want to lose a car, the quickest way to lose a car is asking me to work on it if you want to lose your plants, the quickest way is to ask patches to water them yeah, there, there's a reason why I I don't work on my car or work on other people's cars is because I don't know shit about cars.
Speaker 1:Yeah, somebody you know might I might be in the car with somebody and they're like, hey, do you hear a noise? And I'm like, yeah, maybe you should get get that checked out. Okay, we know that there's a problem. Let's take it to a mechanic and let's have the mechanic actually say what the problem is. And that's the same thing with this. Is that okay? If there are things that are going on in your life that you're having a hard time with, and everything like that, okay, you're recognizing the problem. Or a friend might be able to say, hey, it sounds like you're really having a hard time in life, like, maybe you should see somebody, but it's not up to the friend to be like, hey, you're, you're fucking, you know, really depressed. Like, no, you know, your friend friend is not, is not a mental health provider they're not your mental health provider I hope anyway oh my god, yes, I, I've you know.
Speaker 1:So just just for the audience out there, please, please, please. Anybody who works in any type of healthcare. I've heard stories from nurses as well, like you know. Oh, you're a nurse.
Speaker 2:Check this out. I have a big I have.
Speaker 1:I have a big thing on my fucking chest, you know, check it out and it's like dude.
Speaker 2:No we're not on the clock, like we're not here trying to live my life.
Speaker 1:I don't want to look at your butt and and, yeah, same thing, like you know, like I'm there is. There is a difference between me talking to you as a friend, as a person, for an hour versus me talking to somebody for an hour in an office setting. Yeah, you know, I'm not looking to diagnose you, so therefore do not ask, like you know, like hey, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, because I will tell you the same thing is go see somebody.
Speaker 2:And not me. I don't want to know your life's problems and not me.
Speaker 1:I don't want to know your life's problems.
Speaker 2:So so yeah, I think that you know partial education and ideally I will say maybe, if possible, avoid greater assistance.
Speaker 1:Yep, that is definitely a episode that will a hard time. You should do that.
Speaker 2:You should not go to Dr Instagram or Dr TikTok. Those are fake doctorates. They were plagiarized and written by AI.
Speaker 1:So, with that being said, where would you put this on our scale of toxicity? Would you say that this is a green potato where you can just shave off the green and eat the rest? Is this a death cap mushroom where it's a 50-50 shot of dying from it? Or is it antifreeze? A delightful last meal last meal.
Speaker 2:I am going to say that this, in particular, misdiagnosing people or diagnosing yourself from random crap that you've seen online, just use misusing actual terms like this I would say that this is actually antifreeze.
Speaker 2:I know we said said death cap, like low death cap for therapy speak, and while these two are very, very similar which is why we decided to do them back to back that to me has much less of a potential negative effect on your life and the people's lives around you versus you know again, somebody who has actual OCD or actual PTSD and who maybe is now not receiving the care you know, because we had a time when, like, these things didn't exist and it's just you making this shit up in your head, like get back to work.
Speaker 2:And then we were like, oh hey, maybe, maybe there are problems here that we should address so that people can live happy, fulfilled lives. And now I feel like we're kind of coming back up the other side. It's like, because everyone has it now it doesn't mean anything, and so it means that somebody who has actually experienced such stress that they have ptsd is now being lumped potentially into the same category as somebody who had a super sad, bad day, and that's not helpful for either of them, and it potentially means that the person who has real PTSD is now mocked and shamed for what they're going through and the way that they act, and they don't receive the care, and so we're right back to step one of people who spend decades of their lives traumatized real traumatized. I think it can have really, really, really negative effects. It doesn't always, of course, but it has such a high potential that I think we really need to be careful to stop completely misusing terms like real hard, clinical terms in places that they just don't need to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean yeah, I would say, you said it perfectly, I agree, I think that this is definitely an antifreeze. Where again, no, I agree, I think that this is definitely an antifreeze. Where again you on Instagram and is viewing out, most people are going to be like that's really, you're traumatized by that. And then again somebody who actually has gone through drama they're picking up that. Well, I've seen on Instagram, they're picking up that. Well, I've seen on Instagram 20 people who are traumatized by a breakup or something like that. And here comes, you're not really that traumatized.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everyone's a little traumatized this day. Absolutely the fuck. Not that phrase. Everyone's a little XYZ, I mean for many reasons, but also I mean just goes to show that like it's been so overused that that person who says that has seen it everywhere. And so now, when somebody who does come to them, who really does have ADHD, autism, ptsd, ocd, any of these things, they're just like, just like whatevs. Everyone's a little bit this, everyone has it these days.
Speaker 1:They shouldn't if you have any stories, please feel free to write us at toxic at awesome life skillscom. Follow us on our social media Facebook, instagram, twitter, tiktok and threads and if you like this episode, please give us a five star. It really helps us get ourselves out there and everything like that.
Speaker 2:Also send it to your friends. If you've ever heard them misuse one of these terms pro tip, just like. Drop this like a little dead mouse in front of them.
Speaker 1:Like here you go but thank you so much for listening. We will see you next week. I've been christopher patchett lcsw and I've been lindsey mclean bye you.
