Toxic Cooking Show
Misogyny, $800 first dates, simps, and high-value women: Social media has been busy cooking up and feeding us an addictive but toxic slurry of trends over the past few years. Here at The Toxic Cooking Show we're two friends dedicated to breaking down these trends, terms, and taunts into their simplest ingredients to understand where they came from and how they affect our lives. Join us each week as we ponder and discuss charged topics like personal responsibility and "not all men" before placing them on our magical Scale O' ToxicityAny comments or topics you want to hear about write to us at toxic@awesomelifeskills.com
Toxic Cooking Show
Onlyfans
Can you imagine a world where a single platform can redefine personal finance and online presence while navigating the tumultuous waters of digital relationships? Our latest episode promises to unravel the complex tapestry of OnlyFans, tracing its rapid ascent during the pandemic and the financial reality for its creators.
Through the poignant lens of real-life stories, such as the tragic tale of Grant from Florida and his ill-fated connection with Sophia, we evaluate the delicate dance of personal responsibility in online dynamics. We also scrutinize the financial allure and challenges that OnlyFans presents, revealing the often stark difference between the dreams of million-dollar paydays and the sobering reality of average earnings. Tax implications and OnlyFans' substantial cut of creators' income complete this financial exposé, underscoring both the potential and pitfalls of this digital economy.
As the digital age continues to shape our lives, we confront the evergreen challenge of preserving authenticity online amidst a sea of promotional content. Through candid reflections, the episode explores the permanence of internet actions on future opportunities, offering insights into the societal pressures influencing content creators today. By sharing personal frustrations with the landscape of social media and dating apps, we expose the clutter of OnlyFans promotions and how they divert from genuine connections, sparking a conversation on the quest for a more authentic online experience.
Hi and welcome to the Toxic Cooking Show, where we break down toxic people to their simplest ingredients. I'm your host, christopher Padgett, lcsw.
Speaker 2:And I'm Lindsay McLean, the best co-host ever.
Speaker 1:So I want to take you back way back when, when we first started doing this show.
Speaker 2:You mean like less than a year ago?
Speaker 1:We were younger, we were.
Speaker 2:We were younger, we were younger we were.
Speaker 1:You were young, we were so. So all of about six months ago we did we did a uh show on personal responsibility, and what led to that show was we were talking about sophia and grant. Grant was a guy from florida who killed off both his parents and one of his brothers due to the fact that he was in an online relationship with a girl from Bulgaria quote unquote relationship where they were Basically he had sent over, in the span of six months, $250,000 to this girl.
Speaker 1:That number still baffles me as somebody who does not have that type of money and probably never will. I mean, I got $250 on a good day. Yeah, I know what $1,000 is. So if I put those two together, there we go.
Speaker 2:It's the same right. Yeah, it's fine Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's fine. So one of the reasons why we did come up with personal responsibility was you and I were kind of going back and forth about who was more responsible. Was it the Florida man for falling for this relationship, or was it Sophia for not cluing him in to a relationship, or that they weren't in a relationship? Right so, based off of that, we are going to talk about OnlyFans oh yeah, I can't wait, oh God, so OnlyFans. It started back in 2016.
Speaker 2:That's older than I thought it was.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we didn't hear about it until 2020-ish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I seem to associate it kind of with COVID, I guess maybe because people were home and they were like what else am I going to do?
Speaker 1:And that is exactly what everybody else kind of did. So for some odd reason, in March of 2020, apparently people were just kind of like lounging around, doing nothing. Onlyfans grew 75% in one month between March and April.
Speaker 2:Damn, that's impressive.
Speaker 1:And so it continued to grow all throughout 2020 and most of 2021. And even into 2022, for some odd reason again hmm, I wonder what it was so both some membership and also content creators. So only fans. If you don't know what it is, if you live under a rock somehow is basically a way for mostly women who are making content that is, quote unquote not suitable for work, aka they're showing their body yeah we got some classic porn going on there.
Speaker 1:So the OnlyFans it started growing. A lot of people were out of work. A lot of people were either for long or they were laid off.
Speaker 2:People were pretty much at home and also due to the checks that we were kind of getting at the time, a good majority of people had more money than when they were working.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because there were the stimulus checks, there was also the added I think it was four hundred dollars per month that lasted from march until september, and then after that it was continuous unemployment. And then there was also a couple, I think it was two stimulus checks altogether, three stimulus checks altogether. So one was for $1,200, I believe the other was for I think it was $1,800, and then or I'm sorry $1,200 and then another one for $800. So not a whole lot of money, but little extra money that that we, we were getting that we can spend on fun times, that we can, that's what we gotta do.
Speaker 1:Fun times you had a lot, a lot of guys who were you know, stuck at home. A lot of single men who were stuck at home and basically not a lot to do. So they reached out and, as Avenue Q once said, the internet is for porn.
Speaker 2:That triggers me, and the rest of the song is now just going to play in my head for the entirety of this episode. I hate you.
Speaker 1:Excellent man, only fans. It was going great. Everything was going good. Women were making a lot of money, guys were getting their rocks off. Until about august of 2021 august 2021 there was a lot of worries going around about child sexual abuse. Congress was asked to open an investigation, and so that's what started happening A lot of banks that gave payment to OnlyFans started threatening to leave if they were to continue allowing sexual material to be on their platform material to be on their platform and so only fans made a statement that, in october of 2021, only fans would no longer allow any sexual content and wait really yeah I never heard anything about this I but I still hear about, only so I assume that they were still doing their OnlyFan shit that they were doing before.
Speaker 1:Wow, two more seconds, sorry, sorry.
Speaker 2:I was too focused on the shock of like what do? You mean, they haven't been doing this. Okay, jk, they were.
Speaker 1:Were like so that lasted for about a week and as soon as they mentioned it, uh, all of your content creators and all of your members started saying you know, well, fuck this, we're gonna go somewhere else. And then you started having, like other places, that kind of opened up and only fans said, okay, you know what? No, no, no, no, no, um, we'll talk to the bank, we'll, we'll, we'll, figure everything out.
Speaker 2:You know, like, uh, we'll make it work we'll make it work, so please don't leave so okay maybe this is why I didn't hear about it yeah, it was.
Speaker 1:It was very, very short. It literally was weak. So so they didn't even get to the band before, because it was like back in september of 2021 that they said that they were again going to make a band in october, and the moment that they, like, you know, you know it left their lips, you know there was backlash.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Nice. Just as quickly as they said it, they also took it back. So, onlyfans, you think about it. What is the first thing that kind of comes to your mind other than you know? Like the sexual aspect of it.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's pretty much it. The only thing I know is that you can basically anybody can go on there and create an account and create content of whatever sort they want, but it's understood that if it's only fans, it's not gonna be like here's me making candles. So you know you, you could, though theoretically there's nothing stopping you and then people can pay to access your content. I don't know how. I don't know if it's like a, a subscription thing that you buy and then you can access everyone's. If there's like a, a tiered system, that I don't know. I just know that you know I can go on there and create content and you can go on there and pay to watch my content and I make money off of that as the creator.
Speaker 1:So money that that.
Speaker 2:That's the TLDR version.
Speaker 1:That that's kind of one of the things that like really took off with owning fans. That's why I like a lot of creators, cause again, this was 2020. A lot of people lost their jobs. A lot of people were furloughed, so got to pay the bill somehow. So one of the beautiful things about OnlyFans is that you see some of these girls and the way that they have it set up is that you join OnlyFans. Joining OnlyFans is free and then you're paying for each individual girl.
Speaker 2:Okay, and do you pay per piece of content that you consume or so it's basically like you pay a monthly subscription.
Speaker 1:So, depending on the girls they, you, girls it's completely on that. So if a girl wants to charge $10 a month, or if they want to charge $1,000 a month, it's completely up to them. But you also got to realize that nobody's going to be paying $ thousand dollars a month unless you're you know putting out some, some good quality candle making content exactly, unless your candles are scented and everything I want those like nice poor videos and they do little swirlies, and then the, the demolding.
Speaker 1:That's what I require for a thousand a month so so you get the, the, the subscription, and you know some girls will do things where, like, they'll message you and you know, say, hey, I wanted to show you this and you have to download that for another $20. Or they might have things on their postings of you know, check me out and then, you know, charge another like $20.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then there's more explicit candle-making content there.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so you might be paying like, let's say, $10 for, like, the basic subscription.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you might get lingerie or something like that.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And then if you want to see the good candle making, then you're paying another, like you know, like 15, 20, whatever amount that they're charging to see pictures of them completely naked.
Speaker 2:Okay. So you could make a decent amount, like, if you're good and you find your market, you could make quite a bit of money.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, and you could also spend quite a bit of money. Oh, yeah, yeah and and you could also spend quite a bit of money and that's the thing is that that became attractive because you started hearing about girls who were making a hundred thousand. You know, a month you started hearing about girls who were making. You know, there was a few girls that were making a million dollars.
Speaker 2:I am so jealous. Well look, I mean, I know, I know where you're going with this, but I do. I just want to take a moment to admire the entrepreneurial spirit here.
Speaker 1:Well, here's the problem with that. So two girls that I saw that were making bukus of money one it went by the name of black china. Uh, she made 20 million dollars her first year. Her very first day, she made one million dollars why does her name sound so familiar?
Speaker 2:did she date like a celebrity or something? Is okay, hold on. Sorry, sorry, I'll shut up.
Speaker 1:I was about to google her I think I know who this is, and then another girl by the name of bella uh thorn, so she also made me too so so okay, you know, just as you said, like you know, like where did I hear that name before you know? She was in a music video with Kanye West. I believe it was Kanye West, I don't know. I'm sure she dated celebrities and things like that.
Speaker 2:She spells China with a Y right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, and then black is B-l-a-c.
Speaker 2:I missed that part, but I guess if we're misspelling china, we might as well just do the whole thing wrong.
Speaker 1:So so, just as you're saying, like you know, like these are people you already heard of, like you know, I'm I'm guessing, unless you're a fan of OnlyFans, which I don't see you being a huge fan of OnlyFans.
Speaker 2:Not my thing.
Speaker 1:You've heard these names elsewhere. So, that's why they're getting these huge payoffs. It's not some simple girl from the south, and you know uh who? Uh lives in a town of like five yeah, yeah you know, the, the highest of the highs already had a name for themselves, and Now you have all these other people who are hearing this like a million dollars, 100,000, all this money and they're pumping into the system and you want to take a lucky guess of what the average content creator makes.
Speaker 2:I mean, I know how this works right. I mean, I know how this works right. It's like this in every industry that you have the unicorn earners who are up there at the top, who are just rolling in cash, and then most people are going to be making pennies compared to that. Most people are going to be making.
Speaker 1:I'm sure it's probably something closer to 10, 20 a month because there are going to be so many people who make like zero, they're just like all right the whole thing down. Yeah, it's so. It's 151 dollars, okay, per month. Per month, yeah, that's not a lot. So your top one percent of the creators are making 73 of all the only fans, uh money. So, just as you said, you know, uh, for somebody who's making a million dollars, there are going to be a fuck ton of people who are making zero yeah so so you, in order to be kind of like a decent, like middle ground type person, you're probably looking at maybe $2,000.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's still not bad. That is like you could survive off of that.
Speaker 1:Well, before you also got to take off 20% that OnlyFans makes off of that. Well, before you also got to take off 20 that only fans makes off of that. Oh and so, okay, so you're not surviving off of that so now you're down to 1800. Uh, you're also self-employed, so that is taxes. That is being taken off of that. So you got to figure. For you to be wise about things, you need to set aside at least 30 to 40% aside for taxes. That's here in the United States anyhow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So you figure 30% of $1,800, that is $600. So that $2,000 that was looking pretty good a couple seconds ago is now down to $1,200.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good point, but still, but still. I mean, if there are, if you're, if you've gotten to that level, I think, especially if you were using this as a part-time side gig, like if you have a regular profession or if you have other like part-time freelancing jobs, to have that on the side. Like if I had a client that I knew would bring in approximately 1200 a month, that's not bad.
Speaker 1:Well, you also got to kind of consider and we talked about this before is what is your full-time job?
Speaker 2:This is true, although isn't there that Olympian who just finished competing, who's also on OnlyFans? I'm pretty sure I saw this.
Speaker 1:I didn't see about that I think she's Canadian. I wouldn't be surprised.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't be surprised either. I was mainly annoyed that the media felt the need to call this out and I was like I don't think these things are related. I think she does athletics of some sort. Yep, alicia Newman, she does pole vaulting. I mean Mabes is ripped. Do you see her six pack?
Speaker 2:oh god yeah damn bronze medalist too. Look at that. She even has a a whole ass medal. But yeah, as you can see by looking this up, like the internet just went wild and was like we must make sure that everyone knows only fans so okay, again, you know, just as we were saying, she's probably gonna make a lot of money off of this yeah um, but it is again.
Speaker 1:She's not the simple southern, uh you know, bella girl, who, uh, lives in a town of three and nobody knows who she is.
Speaker 2:Wait, what happened to the other two? She did live in a town of five, and now we're down to three.
Speaker 1:We have to kill off some enemies. They went out of town for a bit, okay, whatever, you know what I'm saying. I do, I do, but still so. So again, you know, she, she's, she's already very well known, so she's gonna make a lot of money, yeah. And so again, you know, like, looking at some of the jobs here, just as you said, like you know, like, uh, the fact that that the media had to also say that she's an olympic medalist who does only fans, yeah rather than just being like she's an olympic medalist and pole vaulting like okay.
Speaker 1:End of story yeah but you know the media has to add that in and that's kind of one of the problems of you know what we've talked about with female jobs. You know, you look at some of these. You know female jobs where, as we talked about before, where is teaching, social working, working with the public, and so you're now gaining 1200 if you make it that much yeah on average again, you're probably gonna make 150 and as soon as one person hears about it you're fucked you're fucked.
Speaker 1:So your full-time gig of you know, teaching or social work, or administrative assistant or anything like that, now it's gonna be like, well, you know I, I don't need my assistant here.
Speaker 1:You know, like rallying up the, you know like the, the business and and everything like that, I'm gonna have to let you go yeah so now you lost your full-time gig and now you have 101 or 51 dollars to last you month to month or, you know, at the very best, hundred dollars yeah, I mean, that's a societal problem that we can talk about that's well. I mean, it's definitely something that, yeah, I mean I do have an idea for something that this is going to fit into, which, as always, will be in the upcoming episode it had to be said.
Speaker 2:You know it's just, it's already been. How long have we been going?
Speaker 1:25 minutes and so okay, you know. The other thing is is that, like you have, the other problem is is that you're having a bunch of guys who are coming on to these different places where they're promoting themselves and everything like that. Talking trash, talking down to figure who is visiting these OnlyFan pages.
Speaker 1:That is, you know, raking in, like, you know, like girls being able to make like a million dollars in a day. It's probably the same exact guys who are flipping shit about, like what would your mother say? Or you're never going to find a husband this way, and you know things like that, okay, and but the other thing is, is that, like you know, like, uh, in the case of black china, so in 2023, in the case of Black Chyna, so in 2023, in the case of Black Chyna, she ended up finding God, she went into religion and she deleted her account on OnlyFans. Okay, cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The only thing is that the internet doesn't forget.
Speaker 2:The internet is forever kids the internet doesn't forget.
Speaker 1:The internet is forever kids. So you know, as soon as I typed in the name black china, I saw like all these different like pictures of her and things like that. So, regardless, if if you are looking into that type of future, like and the is, we don't know what's going to happen in the future, we don't know how we're going to feel, what we're going to think, what our beliefs are going to be. So in this case of of black China, she's now living with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I'm sure it's. It's gotta be hard on her.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Especially if you are going that deep into religion and some of the things that are being taught in religion and things like that to kind of be remembered like that.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And so, okay, putting yourself out there hoping that a situation like that doesn't happen, mm-hmm, putting yourself out there hoping that a situation like that doesn't happen. But also, if you're putting your name in there, you're also again, the internet doesn't forget. So, if you're looking for any type of work, if you want to decide that you want to be a teacher in the future, if you decide that you want to be a social worker, if you decide that you want to go into nursing all these things, want to go into nursing all these things, and and the thing is, is that a lot of your companies are going to look up at you know your name online and if your name shows up as, like even 10 years ago, that you were only fans, that's gonna, like you know, like put a huge uh flag on on your ability to gain work well, and you also have the problem, too, that maybe it doesn't get flagged at the beginning, but somewhere down the road.
Speaker 2:I mean, how often do we see this with politicians that like they're still getting elected and then somebody at some point is like hey, did you know? Back in 2012, you said this super racist, offensive thing on Twitter and they're like shit Because it's there. And then you know, like shit because it's there. And then you know, people just randomly stumble across stuff. Sometimes they're like, oh, look at this terrible thing you did, would it? Be a shame for the world to know so, yeah, yeah, the internet doesn't forget.
Speaker 1:And then also, yeah, uh, you could be working for a company for you know, five, ten years, or something like that, and then, all of a sudden, something that you did, like you know, like 15 years ago yeah, before you even worked for them before you even worked for them, like now, shows up and as soon as it spreads throughout the office, you know, the boss says, hey, you're causing too much disruptance here, and things like that, unfortunately. Like, yeah, there, there are things like that. Here's where I kind of see a problem with this.
Speaker 1:This is where I kind of find a problem and this is why I bring this on to the toxic cooking show okay so, as I kind of said to you at the beginning, like I want you to think back to, like our, our earlier days of doing this, you know, when we were younger and had more energy and things like that, all six months ago yeah so we we talked about sophia and we talked about grant from florida, and one of the things is how does a girl on OnlyFans compete against hundreds of thousands of other girls just to try to be one of the girls that makes, let's say, $5,000.
Speaker 1:They want to be on the upper end. What is one of the first ways of? If you're trying to be a content creator, what would you say is probably the best way to really kind of get yourself out there? I want you to think really hard. This is something that you and I are both guilty of not doing.
Speaker 2:I know exactly what this is. You have to put yourself out there. You have to remember to post on social media and not just be like I'm going to do that this week. I've never done that.
Speaker 1:Unlike us. They are constantly, like you know, posting on on social media. They're trying to gain a following. They're trying to gain a following. They're trying to talk to people and trying to bring people in. And okay, good, super, do you how they go about doing it? This is where I really feel like it's becoming a toxic thing in our society.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh, I think I know where you're going with this, but please elaborate.
Speaker 1:So let's start with Instagram. I'm sitting here, I'm looking through my Instagram. I'm sitting here, I'm looking through my Instagram, I'm scrolling. You know happy little doggy tales and you know short jokes that I can send to you and and so one of the most recent Instagram content creators that I had to delete was what would you expect to see on only scary things?
Speaker 2:Probably only scary things yeah.
Speaker 1:I like horror. You know that, mm-hmm. I love the possibilities of maybe ghosts being there.
Speaker 2:Except when it's 3 o'clock in the morning and you wake up and text me because you had a nightmare about the podcast Not based on a true story at all.
Speaker 1:What was that dream again, do you remember?
Speaker 2:It was something about some lady was chasing you. Hold on, I can look up and see what you said to me, but it freaked you out because she was like chasing you. I think you were trying to do something. It was related to the podcast was like chasing you.
Speaker 1:I think you were trying to do something. It was related to the podcast. Yeah, yeah, I remember she was chasing after me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you mentioned that. She's making the same noise as our beloved executive producer does when she's gotten a hold of something that she shouldn't be eating, and she is eating it in the corner and she is eating in the corner.
Speaker 1:So so okay, so I, I do. I like horror movies. I, like you know, like um watching some of these ghost videos and things like that. So I see a page of only scary things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm gonna follow it, you know this is something I'm interested in, I want to see more of, until I see, like you know, like as I'm scrolling through now, seeing a picture of a girl with giant boobs and she's has a seatbelt around herself and she's like I'm looking for you to choke me, daddy, oh, and then seeing that it is coming from Only Scary Things.
Speaker 2:Mm.
Speaker 1:And seeing this on comedy things, seeing this on different, has nothing to do with OnlyFans, mm-hmm, but this girl paid a bunch of money to the page to have her advertisement up there. Mm-hmm to the page to have her advertisement up there, and it's just like I can't tell you how many times I've unfollowed a page because it's just like you fucking sell out, like you know. Like you know you can make money off of, like halloween direct decorations. You can make, uh, you know, uh, off of a scary movie that's coming out, but yet you're gonna put, you know, like, a set money from somebody who's from only fans, and I don't want to see that shit yeah you have girls who are.
Speaker 1:You know me, being a social worker, I see a lot of this trans acceptance acceptance cool, cool. Like you know, here's somebody that I could learn something from. Like you know, like accepting what do a girl who is trans some of the things that they want to hear? Now check out my OnlyFans Really Fuck Body acceptance Cool. Really fuck body acceptance cool. How to how to accept your body and and how how you want to. You know, like how you want others to perceive you, follow them and then all, as soon as I go onto the page, accept this body fuck god damn it.
Speaker 1:You have. I've seen this a couple times where it is a two second clip and it will say like um, for the guys I'm just wondering. And then it shows like a sexy pose and then like somebody on it. So now you're having to watch this thing over and over again to see what it said and it says, you know, it says something stupid. Like you know, like, follow my only fans. You know, like um, you know whatever, yeah, so now you saw this thing like on repeat for, like you know, two or three times that took you to, like you know, read it and guess what happens.
Speaker 2:When you are falling for this, time and time again, it gets put onto your algorithm yep, yep, because the algorithm only picks up that you watched this type of video five times in a row and it's like you would like more, wouldn't you?
Speaker 1:so due to that, I ended up having to for a good month, anytime that I saw a girl, whether it was you know like she could have been like you know like doing a skit comedy. She could have been doing like a you know like an important message, something like you know like, uh, that that was truly you know trans acceptance or body acceptance or or whatever. But now I'm swiping through because the moment I see a girl I'm like, okay, let me get this shit off my algorithm yeah so that's that you have threads and twitter.
Speaker 1:Uh, you constantly see things where it is. I saw when I was living in new york city. I saw a couple times where it is. I saw when I was living in New York city. I saw a couple of times where it's. You know I'm new to New York city and you know, just looking for people to hang out with, I bet you hang out by hang out, hang out on my only fans page. There there would be things of why is it that men don't like women over 40? Because if you like girls over 40, check out my OnlyFans.
Speaker 2:God damn it.
Speaker 1:I feel sad that I can't find a good man that will treat me well. So treat me well by spending your money on OnlyFans. But wait, it gets worse.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:So you're single and you are looking for a relationship and I'm doing this on Instagram. And you're doing this on a dating site.
Speaker 2:On a dating site. Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, matchcom, okaycupid, tinder, bumble, all these type of I got all my profiles you got all of your profiles, okay. Now, as a guy and this again will be a future episode dating, especially online, is extremely hard and I, I think, did you. Did you actually watch the thing that I showed you or sent to you? Uh, the girl who?
Speaker 2:which thing?
Speaker 1:it was a girl who went on as her friend no, I think I've seen similar ones before.
Speaker 2:Do I need to go and watch it now?
Speaker 1:um so so I sent you a video, that's every video that you send you are so far behind.
Speaker 1:And it was. It was a girl who was posing as her friend. Uh, she was trying to show him that dating on on apps Is not so hard. She gets hit up all the time, things like that and she was talking about how Her friend is a six and how she will actually Write messages for him and swipe and everything like that, trying to get him fixed up Because this guy has completely given up on on dating apps uh-huh and she's like you know, like it's sickening.
Speaker 1:I, you know, um, it's it's constantly. I have not gotten anywhere. I, you know, like, I figured, you know from a female's uh point of view that I would easily get a bunch of women knowing exactly what to say and things like that, and I get nothing. So, for a guy like you are barely ever getting hit up and you're going on Matchcom, you're going on all these different profiles and you know you get a match and you start talking to somebody and maybe about like three or four messages in. So this is something that I always do, uh, and this is something for all guys to do is, once you kind of get to that point where you know, like she gives you her number or you give her your number, and all of a sudden one they only want to talk on WhatsApp. Okay, that's kind of strange, you know like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because the US doesn't really do WhatsApp.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, so it's that, or it is text messaging. And if you just type in, like you know, is it a landline or is it a cell phone, uh, you put in the number and 99.9 percent of the times it is one of these Google voicemails.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:And so you know you're talking to this person. If you didn't check the background and everything like that, you're thinking that you're. You're continuing on with this conversation with this girl.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:A couple of messages in. You know, like, hey, check out my Instagram, blah, blah, blah. You know, like, I have more pictures. Some of them are kind of obvious, some of them are not, but there's the link, you know, for my OnlyFans. So I've done this a couple times.
Speaker 2:You know I'm pretty much an introvert person and I enjoy it Pretty much is an understatement and I enjoy, like Pretty much is an understatement.
Speaker 1:So you know, I enjoy, like you know, like fucking around with people who want to fuck around with me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1:I'll play dumb. You know I'll be like oh, nice pictures and everything. So you know, like, what are your hobbies, what are the things that you enjoy doing, and then I'll eventually get the hey, I'm getting so bombarded, meet up with me on OnlyFans, and so I'll just continue playing dumb. Oh well, I don't have OnlyFans and I really don't want to, like you know, like, get onto that or anything like that. Uh, you know, let's continue talking here, might get a couple more messages and then, like you know like, hey, look, I'm really sorry. Like you know, like I I'm only talking to people on only fans because I want to know who's going to be serious yeah, that is definitely how I tell if people are serious or not.
Speaker 2:Maybe, maybe this has been. The problem in my life is this is not how I have checked if people were serious noted.
Speaker 1:Noted I'm gonna create an only fans account now, as soon as we're done with this now you have, like you know, like uh instagram, you have twitter, you have uh threads, you have dating sites that are all like you know. Like you know, thing is is like I don't give a fine fuck, like if you want to do OnlyFans, go for it. More power to you. But you know, if it's shoved in my face 24-7, I'm now fucking annoyed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I think that that's more of a problem for the sites in question, like the, the dating websites.
Speaker 2:I think they need to do a better job of checking for bots, because, I mean, I know this is a problem for women too they're not bots, though true, they're not necessarily bots, but, like the fake accounts, the ones that are not actually a person looking to meet another person to start a relationship, but the I have created this account to get you onto my only fans account, cause that's, that's not okay. Like, again, go get your money, girl. Like I support you in that. But pretending to be somebody who is, you know, looking for a relationship in order to, like, get people in and looking for you. I mean, I think that's websites need to do a better job, like these websites and apps need to do a better job of like a. Add that into your terms of terms of use. We say, like you can't do this. I don't know if they already have that in there, but like they do try.
Speaker 1:But I mean they are very, you know, like they, they, they are very good like the girls themselves. So they will do you know, they'll talk to like you know, like, let's say, 100 guys mm-hmm and then it's. You know, one of the the quickest ways to kind of see is that after you get their number, within two days their, their profiles deleted yeah because other guys are now catching on of what's going on.
Speaker 1:They're reporting them to the you know the dating site. Now they're, they're getting repeated or, uh, deleted, but who knows how many people these, these girls, are talking to yeah you know?
Speaker 2:uh, because they know that they have to get a mass amount of people to kind of get them into a conversation yeah before, like giving their number out, and then, once they get their number out, that's when they can start, like you know, going for the hook yeah, but I'm I'm obviously some of this responsibility lies on the website, like to to be on top of that and to make sure that, as best as they can, you know you're, you're clearing these, these accounts out. I am going to put a lot of onus on, in this case, the men. You knew that was coming. I saw it on your face whoever you know not the person who has the only fans account, because obviously it gave me men, women, anyone who else. I know it is women. That's what we associate with it like searching for men.
Speaker 2:But I do put the onus on the people who are seeing this and getting these messages to you know, you tell Instagram, I'm not interested. You unfollow these pages and, yes, interested, you unfollow these pages, you, and yes, it's work. But when the majority of people are doing that, it no longer becomes interesting to these people to pay for the ads, to spend the time creating 10 different accounts on bumble to try and meet men and to be moderating them, because if if they're not getting anything from it, then they won't do it I, so I am totally gonna have to disagree with you on that um I knew you would so you know that the thing that I and actually I, I think that, um, uh, I think that this is going to be a to-be-continued episode, because there's one other point that I want to bring up that I think that this will kind of go along with that.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, I think that we're definitely going to have to be continued.
Speaker 2:Fine Cliffhanger, and I will beat you into submission next time Because I'm right.
Speaker 1:Yes, you are far from right, but you know what? Anyway, bye, anyway, bye so to the surprising two part episode. Check us out next week and let us know what your thoughts are. Where do you stand? Team Lindsay or team Chris?
Speaker 2:y'all better say team Lindsay. I will check the messages.
Speaker 1:And with that We'll do. We'll kind of go over the when we see or where we go from here and We'll look at the discussion Of where we go from here and then also looking at the scale of toxicity next week. And until then, follow us on our social media that we never post to, but we are going to start, we are going to and you can always email us on toxic at awesome life skillscom. And until next week I've been your host, christopher Patchett, lcsw.
Speaker 2:And I've been Lindsay McLean. We'll see you then. Bye.
Speaker 1:Bye, thank you.
